Class With Cross
by IRuleEverything101
Summary: After Cross Somehow gets back to HQ, He is charged with teachin Allen & the others certain...Subjects. UNDER A NEW PEN NAME!
1. Chapter 1

**Aki:** Once again due to the dreaded demon I call writers block I'm writing a new story.

**Ita**:...if I killed you, were would I hide the body?

**Aki:** (Nervous laugh) You don't mean that, ne?

**Ita:** (eyeing knife holding block)

**Aki:** Riiight…this ficlet is brought to you because me & a few friends were RP-ing while waiting for an open DDR machine at a Toys-R-US. And this got stuck in my head. So, onward young, err… adventurers? Readers? Potential fans?...Whatever. Just read.

KEY:

_**'Look at me!'**_- thoughts

"look at me!- speech

**(Look at me!)-** Yours truly.

* * *

Chapter 1:

"What the hell am I doing here?" Cross asked the nervous scientist in front of him. He gulped as the red headed general stared at him.

'_**You can do this Komui. He's a person, just like you or anyone else.'**_ Komui looked at him. 'But why the hell does he need to so intimidating?'

"Well Cross, you're here because we have a proposition for you."

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening"

Komui gulped and pushed forward. "Because of the tab you've run up here at HQ, the higher ups have decided you can pay it off by teaching some of the younger exorcist."

Cross raised a solitary eyebrow.

"First of all, I don't owe HQ shit. Second… there is no second because I'm not doing it." He smirked "And I doubt there is anything you can say that will change my mind." He got up to leave the nerd- I mean, Head of the Science Department alone in his messy office.

'_**I'm getting dirty looking at this place.'**_ He thought glancing at all the clutter.

"WAIT!" Komui shouted. "What if I err…umm…erase all your debts?"

Komui was really fishing around here, if he thought that was all it took to get Cross to stay. Even if it could get him to stay. But he sure as hell wasn't telling Komui that.

"And…?" He prompted. Komui gulped. This was going to put them WAY over budget, but-

"The uh…finest wine we can offer?"

"I've tasted that shit you call wine." He looked Komui up and down. "Whiskey."

"Pardon?"

"Every half hour I spend teaching those sorry excuses of exorcist or whatever it is you call them, I want a bottle of the finest whiskey. And a bottle for each brat. Otherwise I'm not doing jackshit."

Komui felt like crying. The man in front of him was a monster. No, worse than a monster. He's Lucifer's love child with… someone else equally despicable and morally corrupt. He didn't even want him there; because him being there meant that he was around Leenalee. And if he was around Leenalee, then her virtue would be at stake constantly. AND KOMUI COULD LET THAT HAPPEN!!!!!!!! But it was an order, so if he did at least try he'd be out of a job, then he wouldn't be around Leenalee regardless. It was a lose-lose situation for him. But if this is what it took for him to be around his beloved younger sister, then he'd take it. But he wouldn't take it easy for Cross, even if he had to die first.

But the higher ups wouldn't be happy about the whiskey thing. Komui smiled. **_'Not my problem.'_**

"Deal." He said taking Cross's hand and shaking it vigorously up and down.

Cross yanked his hand away before wiping it off on the couch that occupied a small slice of the twister hit office.

**_'Gotta disinfect that later.'_** He thought looking at his hand closely, as if he could see the germs that were slowly infecting him. He shuddered. '_**Do not think about it. Just get the hell outta here.'**_

"Class starts tomorrow at 8 AM Cross." Komui said as he watched him walk off to God knows were.

* * *

**Aki:** Sooo.... I'm happy to say i finilly know enough about DGm to start writing Fics about it. please treat this kindly. Like you would your dear old grandma

**Cross:** What if they hate the old hag?

**Aki**:...Anyway, this is just a teaser. Review to see what Cross teaches first! Peace babes!


	2. Homeroom

**AKI: I live!!!**

**Ita: No one knew you were gone.**

**Aki: Shut up. I don't need your approval anymore.**

**Ita: Your lieing to yourself.**

**Aki:...*starts to cry***

**Ita: ...Shit...um...Sorry?**

**Aki: Did ANYONE record that?!?!?! Please tell me you did!**

**Ita: I'm gonna kill you now.* takes out Katana***

**Aki: Damn.* runs away* **

**_A/N: Slight spoiler. but if you don't see it don't worry about it. Oh, Only Brian belongs to me. The rest...I don't want to talk about it._**

* * *

Chapter 2:

"Attention please. Everyone look over here." Komui said as he looked at the small classroom of exorcist. Allen, Lavi, Kanda, Lenalee, and strangely enough, Miranda and Krory were in attendance as well. All 6 of them were seated at a long table in the center of the room with a podium in front were Komui was standing at and a white broad mounted on the wall behind him.

"Um, Krory, Miranda, why are you both here? This was only suppose to be for the kids." Komui asked.

"Then why the hell do I have to be here?" Kanda ground out. He's been in a bad mood ever since Komui had made Lavi drag him to the class room unawares 10 minutes ago. He was radiating such a large amount of killer intent that everyone could only see a murky purple-ish cloud whenever they looked at him.

"C'mon, Yuu. It'll be a good learning experience." Lavi said going in for a pat on Kanda's back. A glare that promised a horrible and excruciating death if he was so much as touched Kanda's back and he felt that his hand almost shriveled under Kanda's glare.

"Lavi is right, Kanda. It'll be a good experience for you. Just give it a try." Komui said. "And if you don't want to, you could always help me test my newest inve-"

"I'll stay." Kanda said as he crossed his arms over his chest in aggravation.

"Wonderful. Your teacher should be here any moment. Now, why are the both of you here?" He asked Miranda and Krory.

"I'm sorry, but I got a letter saying it was mandatory for me to be here." Miranda explained showing him the letter she received last night.

"I got one just like it." Krory said but didn't bother taking it out.

_'They're making them take remedial classes?'_ Komui thought as a drop of sweat formed on his forehead. "Alight fine then. Now as I said before, your teacher will be here momentarily and I will be err…assisting him to teach you fine young-and not so young- students."

Krory looked at him. _'Did he just insult Miranda and me?' _he thought, not voicing his thought.

"Komui, who will be teaching us, exactly?" Allen asked.

"A general." Was the answer he got.

"Which one?" Lenalee asked.

"Please let it be Klaud. Oh please, please, PLEASE let it be Klaud!" Lavi muttered. Well, what he thought was muttering. Because it was more like yelling to everyone else's ears.

"As long as it's not Tiedoll." Kanda commented.

"Don't worry Kanda. It's not him." Komui said, getting nervous.

Allen saw this and thought, '_The only general left is Shishou. But Komui wouldn't ask him, would he?'_

The door slammed open and Allen got the answer to his question.

The one and only Cross Marian strolled- or staggered, depending on who was watching him- into the makeshift classroom. He took exactly 5 steps into the room before he promptly fell on his face. Everyone stared as he laid there. After an undetermined amount of time, Kanda stood up.

"The hell with this. I don't care what you make me do. I'm not staying here with that!" He said making his way toward the door.

"Kanda, wait!" Komui said trying to stop him.

"No! This is stupid." He all but yelled.

"Your Kanda…stupid…" Cross said lifting his head off the floor long enough to give Kanda a bleary eyed look. Everyone was silent as he laughed weakly at his own joke, before a noise at the door made everyone look in that direction.

Standing there was a girl of about 10 and she started to make her way into the classroom. Her head was covered in scarlet locks that curled in on themselves and tied with what looked like a purple silk ribbon at the base of her neck. She was pale and was dressed in a pale purple shirt with wide kimono sleeves (said shirt looked like it was also made of silk) and black pants with what looked like brand new combat boots on her feet. Her eyes also were a dark violet and the expression on her face was one of boredom. She made everyone (the exception being Cross, since he was still trying to make puns with not only Kanda's name, but now also anybody else's names he could remember in his intoxicated state of mind), feel like they were dressed in filthy disgusting rags.

She walked up to the closest empty chair and dragged it over to a corner farthest away from the podium before sitting down and taking out a book to read. Komui was silent for a few more seconds before asking "Who are you?"

"Yuu Kanda stupid, heh…heh, heh." Cross muttered standing this time, but leaning heavily on the podium. He was, unsurprisingly, ignored.

The girl looked to the left, then the right before pointing at herself and raising an eyebrow.

"Me?" she asked.

"No, the girl next to you." He said with a scowl. "Yes you!"

"I'm Brian. Bri for short. Nice to meet you." She told them looking back down at her book. "I'm with him." She pointed at Cross standing at the podium, leaning towards the right slightly.

"Che, she's obviously lying." Kanda said, his eyes narrowing.

"About what? My name?" She asked. She looked up at them, and then said "Your face will stick like that mister. And you do not need that to happen, since you look like… you." To Kanda.

"How would she even get inside the Black Order in the first place?" Lavi questioned out loud making the majority of the people in the room look at him.

"Um, I don't think that's as important as what Kanda is going to do to her." Allen said as he pointed out the fact that Kanda's hand was on the hilt of Mugen and he was inching toward the small unsuspecting girl in the corner.

"What did you say to me?" He asked standing in front of her now. She didn't look up from her book. "OI, I'm talking to you."

She didn't look up but said in a whisper loud enough for only him to hear, "I wouldn't be talking if I were you, Lotus Boy."

Kanda glared. She turned a page in her book. Everyone was confused. Cross FINILLY stood up straight.

"**Akki-gaki.*** That's exactly what you are." He told her before going back to his seat to brood.

"Whoa. She just got Yuu to back down." Lavi said blinking his eye at what just happened.

"Twas amazing." Allen commented.

"O-oh d-dear." Miranda murmured.

"It's a miracle." Lenalee said.

"It has to be." Komui said nodding at his brilliant sister's declaration.

A snore was heard from Krory.

**_"GODAMNIT SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" _**Kanda yelled standing up to fix them with a dark look.

"I'll say." Cross said from the front of the room. Everyone looked at him now and he even managed to look a little sober at that point. He cleared his throat and looked at the people in front of him. "Damn. I was at least hoping for more women." He looked at Lenalee and Miranda. "The both of you will do, I suppose."

"Cross!" Komui said. He raised an eyebrow at the head of the science department. "Why did you bring a child here with you and how DARE you say that to my SISTER!!"

"Child?" He looked over at Brian. "Oh, that. Just ignore it. That's what I do. It should lose interest soon enough."

"You've been saying that for 2 years. I think I would've given up interest in you by now if I wasn't-"

"So," Cross said cutting the young girl off. "I've been asked to teach you all…stuff. I don't know what yet, but I'll think about it." He took off his coat and threw it at Allen. Grinning, he said "Lets get strated."

* * *

**Aki: There is the second chapter for all my wonderful readers. **

**Cross: DO. NOT. REVEIW!... She might make me work with those filthy brats.**

**Aki: Don't say it like that, my good man!**

**Cross: I'm not your anything.**

**Aki: Awww. I thought we were really coming toghrther, ya know?**

**Ita: DIE!!!!!!**

**Aki: EEP!**

**_*Akki-gaki- Literaly means Devil brat :)_**


	3. English

**Aki**: I'm back with a brand new Chappie!

**Ita:** You. Ended. My. Story.

**Aki:** I'll... write another one?

**Ita**: You damn well better.

* * *

Chapter 3:

_'Shit. What am I going to do now?'_ Cross thought as he looked at all the brats _(Allen, Lavi, and Kanda),_ the two lovely ladies_ (Lenalee and Miranda),_ the Nerd (_Komui)_ the homeless guy _(Krory)_ and It_ (Brian)._ _'Shit man. Think of Something to do. You can do this.'_ Everyone was staring at him- the exceptions being Krory whom was asleep and Brian who was reading a book.

"…I don't know your names." He said finally. Everyone heaved a sigh at the same time.

"You at least know who I am Shishou, right?" Allen asked him. Cross started blankly at him before saying "You're my idiot apprentice. But I don't know the rest of you. So do that thing were you say your names or something." Cross looked around before spotting a decent enough chair for himself and sitting in it. He looked at them all, expecting them to talk when they weren't. He snorted when no one made a move to speak. "Not like I care. I still get paid for being here."

"They're actually paying you?" asked Allen.

"Wait a minute! That wasn't-" said Komui.

"I'm Lavi!" He said brightly giving a small finger wave. Allen and Komui looked at him as if he were a traitor _(Cuz he sorta was, in there eyes at least)_, while Miranda and Lenalee looked on. Kanda was trying (_and failing_) to act like he wasn't even in the room anymore, and Krory was dozing with his head on the desk. Brian hadn't really moved at all except to turn the page in her book every once and awhile.

"Alright. I'm about to take roll call or whatever you call it. I don't really give a damn right now. Anyway," He pointed to Komui. "Nerd."

**"WHAT?!?!"** he screeched.

He pointed to Lavi. "Usagi."

"I just told you my name is Lavi." He said. "To think you didn't-"

"I don't care. Shut up." He pointed at Kanda. "Jap."

"What the hell-"

He looked at Allen and said "…Idiot."

"Shishou, yo-"

Cross took out a heavy looking hammer from God knows were (_and He probably doesn't even want to know that_.) and gave Allen a _Look_. Allen proceeded to snap his mouth shut with a small '_click'_ and sat stock still.

Cross smirked and put the hammer down close to him, so that it will always be in arms length. He didn't know when he would need to… discipline someone.

_'I hope that boy does something to make me hit him.'_ He thought eyeing the rest of the unnamed bunch he had to 'teach'. He felt a shiver go down his spine at that word. Pulling himself back to the reality that everyone there lived in, he looked at the rest of the bunch that didn't have a name.

"Sleepy." Was what he called the snoring Krory, "Twitchy" was Miranda's new name, and Lenalee became "Jailbait".

"I will **NOT **allow a brutish pig like you to call my **DARLING l**ittle sister '**JAILBAIT'**!!!!!" Komui yell after that left Cross' mouth. Cross retaliated by throwing his hammer at the man's head.

"Brother!" Lenalee called out rushing to his side.

"He's just taking a nap." Cross said.

"But you-"

"A. Nap." He said. "Idiot, get my hammer."

"Er, Shishou-"

**_"Now."_**

Allen scrambled to get the hammer and return it to his master before something bad would befall him. He handed the instrument of back to Satan- Cross, I meant Cross! - and went back to his seat before it could be used on him.

"Now-"

"I didn't get a name." Brian said from the back of the room. Cross grumbled as he sent her a look. Not as bad as the one Allen got, but still freighting to everyone else that would admit it. It even sent a chill down Kanda's back but he hid it well considering everyone was looking at the confrontation that was taking place between the young girl and the general.

"Didn't I tell you before that you were an it?" He asked.

"But I told you I was a girl." She told him.

"And I told you no one names a girl Brian."

"If a woman was spiteful at some guy," She looked Cross right in the eye "who knocked her up after a one night stand and won't even clam the kid would."

They both fell silent as they stared at each other down. After 5 minutes, Brian looked away and Cross had a triumphant smirk on his face, that screamed _'You can't even wish to compete against me child.'_

"Your It." He told her and turned to the class. "Now that the Nerd is… napping, I can teach. First lesson is on English. Finish the statement." He cleared his throat and said "Sex is to enjoyable as teaching is to…?"

Cross looked at them all expecting an answer. They_(except Brian, Krory and Komui)_ looked at him as if he were crazy. Cross sighed and said "if one of you don't answer someone will hurt."

Kanda stood up and walked to the door.

"What's got your panties in a bunch Lotus-boy?" Brian asked looking at him.

He stopped and turned around to look at her. Allen recognized the look on his face that said something or someone's blood was going to be spilled.

"Er, Kanda, maybe you should clam down." Allen looked at Lavi for some help.

"I've got twenty dollars on Yuu." He said taking out his money.

"Lavi!" Allen exclaimed. He looked at Cross. "Shishou, do something!"

"That's a losers bet. I got forty on It." Cross said leaning forward on his podium.

"Um… Kanda-"

"Urusai, baka miyoshi. Little bitch is gonna get her ass cut in half." Kanda said taking out Mugen.

"Kanda! You can't talk that way in-"

"You can try my, fucking Jap pretty boy." She said standing up.

"Brian-"

"It's Bri."

"Bri, I don't-"

"Did you just call me a pretty boy, bitch?"

"I damn well did. Are you a fucking retard as well as a pretty boy, Jap?" she asked.

"Little piece of shit, you better take that back."

"Make me, bitch ass." She said standing up.

"What is going on here?" Komui asked sitting up. '_Oh joy of joys, Komui woke up. He can put a stop to this madness._' Allen thought.

"Komui, please-"

"You missed the lesson. It's over now. I'm going back to my room. I expect my payment in no less than an hour." Cross said walking out the door and grabbing the twenty off the table. Brian walked out after him after grabbing her book. They heard her call "Hey, wait up!" and Cross say "Stop following me." The rest of their conversation faded as they kept walking away from the door.

"Is the lesson REALLY over? What happened? And why was I asleep?" Komui asked.

"Well-"

"Brother lets go to the infirmary." Lenalee said picking up her brother and walking out of the room with him.

"I won't even try." Allen said giving up in the long run.

* * *

Aki: This took me a while to write. And I know I probably spelt beansprout wrong. If I did, please tell me!


	4. Math

Chapter 4:

Komui was mad. No, he was furious. No, he was worst than that. He was… something worse that mad and furious put together. I don't know what it's called, but I know it's real. Blind rage, only not so blind I guess. Whatever.

Anyway, he was making his way to Cross's room which was as far away from the science dept. as possible. This meant that Komui had to get up and go get him. God he hated walking. _'Perhaps I should make something that walks for me, with robotic limbs and all.'_ He continued his trek to the opposite side of HQ in thought, until he tripped on something. He stood up, brushing himself off and hoping that no one saw what happened to him.

"He's in his room."

He looked over and saw Brian sitting on a trunk next to a closed door. Next to the trunk was a half empty food cart and on Brian's lap was a half empty platter. He blinked when he saw her bare foot and wearing a powder blue nightgown. Her hair was in a half ponytail and there were bags underneath her eyes.

"Eh, excuse me?" Komui asked. He blinked and the rest of the food on the platter disappeared.

"You're looking for Cross right? He's in the room." She motioned to the door behind her with her thumb and picked up another platter like plate that was filled with breakfast food.

"Umm… did you sleep out in the hall?" Komui asked for lack of nothing else to say. She glanced up at him before she started eating. 5 minutes later when she finished eating and Komui had a look of disgust and fear did she talk again.

"I slept in his room, on his arm chair and ottoman. I had to use the bathroom so I left. When I got back the door was locked. I banged on it and he told me he needed to sleep, and something about a hang-something. I've been waiting here for awhile."

"Where did the cart-"

"I found it."

"And the tru-"

"Found it."

Komui took a closer look at the trunk she sat on and saw it was dark colored wood with a rabbit on it's latch.

"Did you really find that?"

"Yeah. It was… lying around…so I took it."

Komui remembered walking passed a distraught Lavi saying something about a chest that had something important inside it that could kill him if opened. He also remembered walking pass a confused Allen on his way up from the cafeteria. He did look like he was looking for something.

"…" Komui didn't know what to say to that, so he just stared at her as she finished off the rest of the food on the cart.

"…Why are you still here?" Brian asked looking him up and down. That broke Komui out of whatever thought tangent he was trapped in and brought him back to the present.

"Oh right." He walked up to the door and raised his fist to knock, but before it came down the door opened to see a disheveled Cross in the doorway. Now, don't get me wrong. Cross was still hot and all, but instead of looking like a, lets say naughty priest, he looked like a sex god. His hair was rumpled but not sloppy, his 5 o'clock shadow made him look slightly wild and the clothes that he just threw on tied the whole outfit together and screamed **_'I just had wild and crazy monkey sex and I'm ready for more!!!!'._**

"What. The hell. Do you. Want. Nerd?" he said lowly.

"Uh…" Komui's mind blanked. Well, not exactly. The almost-blinding rage turned into almost-blind fear.

"He wanted to speak to you." Brian said now standing next to him. "**But he was just leaving to take the cart back to the cafeteria cuz he knew you were asleep**."

"Yes I was!" Komui said enthusiastically. He grabbed the cart and Cross watched him walk away with it. He looked down at the spot Brian was in to see it was empty. Looking behind him he saw her going through a trunk with her initials on it.

"Why are you still here?"

"You know why." Was all she said as she went into the connected bathroom, which was just a sink with running water and a mirror above it.

* * *

Two hours later, Cross and Brian strolled into the makeshift class room, refreshed and raring to go. Cross was dressed in his usual priest outfit without the frock and Brian was wearing another expensive looking outfit, this time it was a lilac cashmere sweater and a black floor length skirt. Both man and child looked as if they owned the world and the others in the room were dirt beneath their expensive shoes.

"Where were you, class started an hour and a half ago, Cross." Komui said as Brian went to the back and Cross stood in front of the white broad.

Cross ignored him and said "Roll call. Idiot."

"Uh… do you mean me, Shishou?" Allen asked

"Good you're here. Twitchy."

"I-I'm here."

"Usagi."

"My names Lavi."

Cross looked at him. "Ask me if I care."

Lavi opened his mouth, but before any sound came out Cross said "I don't." he looked up. "Sleepy." There was a snore and Cross shrugged. "Jailbait."

"CROSS!!!"

"I'm here sir." Lenalee answered.

"You shouldn't have to answer to that Lenalee!" Komui said.

"And the Nerd is here." He thought for a minute. "Jap."

"Che."

"It."

"I walked in with you."

"Right. Whatever. I don't care enough to argue with you." He replied. "I'm going to make you learn how to use numbers." He turned to the whiteboard.

"'Make us learn how to use numbers.' Is he serious?" Lavi asked Allen. Allen turned to his friend.

"As a heart attack." Allen replied. When he turned back around, something that mysteriously looked and felt like a hammer hit him in the face. He fell back out of his chair and popped up quickly, only to fall back down when he saw how close Cross was.

"Idiot. No talking while I'm teaching."

"You were teaching?" Kanda asked.

"Shut up Jap."

"Che."

"And you." He looked at Allen still on the floor "Stay after class."

Allen sat back up. "B-but Shishou-"

"Shut up." He said bringing the hammer down on his head. Allen had to blink his eyes a couple of times to make the colorful giant cupcake leave his vision. Danm, he was hungry now. It didn't help that he lost his usual food cart _(Full of all his personal favorites, mind you)_ earlier that morning and didn't get to eat as much as he usually did. He felt like shedding a tear at the thought but he didn't dare. He did not want cross to witness something like that. The last thing he needed was Cross saying something about him not being **_'Manly'_** or some such nonsense.

"…And that's how you do it." Cross said putting the marker down Allen looked up and saw that there was a complicated problem on the bored. "You, Rabbit. Come and try another problem."

"Um, I don't think-"

"Do it." Cross said lowly.

"Yessir!"

Allen looked on as Lavi tried_ (and failed)_ to solve the problem Cross had written on the board.

"Next." He looked around. "Jap."

"Che. I'm doing anything." Kanda said crossing his arms across his chest.

"Cuz you don't know how." Brian muttered turning a page in her book.

"What was that Akki-gaki?" Kanda asked turning his head.

"Hmm? Did you want something, Hana- Shonen?*"

Kanda made a choking noise in the back of his throat before standing up straight and walking over to her.

"Kanda, no!" Allen cried going to stand in front of the small girl. "S-she's young and doesn't know any better."

"I don't give a rat's ass how old she is! Get outta the way Moyashi. She getting her ass spanked."

"B-but Kanda-"

"Spanked?" Brian asked "Aren't mothers supposed to spank children? Are you admitting you a woman, hana-shonen? Cuz I totally called that one." Brian looked thoughtful for a moment before saying "You're awful flat in the chest area for a woman, aren't you?"

That Statement caused several things to happen at once.

Lavi fell out of his chair because he was laughing so hard, Miranda fainted after seeing Kanda pull out Mugen, Kanda pulling out Mugen, Allen trying to stop Kanda, Lenalee jumping up to help Allen, Komui yelling about his precious Lenalee, and Krory jerking awake at all the noise. Brian wasn't really doing anything but egging Kanda on more.

"SHUT UP!" Cross shouted, throwing several hammers at Allen, Lavi, Komui, and Kanda. The one that just so happen to hit miss Brian made a hole in the back wall.

"Everyone not named It or Idiot, get out." Lenalee went to drag her brother who had a cut on his forehead out of the room, while Miranda and Krory couldn't leave fast enough. Lavi had to prompt Kanda to attack him instead of Brian to lead him out of the room. Much like you would a puppy that doesn't want to leave its favorite chew toy behind.

"Idiot. I have an assignment for you."

A feeling of dread crept down Allen's spine as he looked up he master/current teacher.

"Y-yes Shishou?" He was trembling, he knew he was. But he had a good reason to. Cross Marian was standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! You'd think Allen would be used to it by now, but sadly, he isn't.

"You see that thing in the corner? The thing you tried to protect?"

Allen glanced at Brian from his peripherals before quickly nodding his head.

Cross grinned. 'What did I just do?' Allen thought as he broke out into a sweat.

"You're It's new mommy. Congrats to you." And with that Cross swept out of the room.

* * *

**Aki:**Phew that took me awhile. It's so fustrating looking at a blank screen for like 3 1/2 hours. Anyway...umm...I forgot...OH Wait!

Kudos to **crazy queen of toast**. You're like the ONLY person to goess that! Very smart, girlie! :D

BTW: hana-shonen means 'Flower boy' in japanese.

TTFN & Always REVIEW!!!


	5. Lunch

**Key: **

_What' s up?-_ thoght

"Yo"- speach

**Hello-** stressing a word.

**_I am master and comander of the WORLD!!!-_** Brian's special moments :)

* * *

Chapter 5:

Brian stared at the silent and motionless Allen that was standing in the middle of the makeshift classroom. Cross had left them almost 2 whole hours ago, and the boy hadn't made so much as a squeak. She had finished her book that she brought with her to class that day and just stared at him. And it was starting to get tiresome.

_'Hmm…what to do?'_ she thought to herself. She started to fiddle with a necklace that had previously been hidden under her shirt. It was a simple sliver chain that held a sliver treble clef pendent that was inlaid with several small amethyst stones and a single garnet in the center. She always fiddled with it when she thought deeply. It reminded her of her mother. Hmmm… she looked at Allen once more. _'He would be better than no mother at all. He might even help me with Cross!'_ she thought.

"Oi, new mom." She called. Allen didn't respond. She sighed. If he wanted to play the hard way…

She lifted her foot and brought it down on Allen's. Very hard. Like she put ALL of her weight down on his poor foot.

"OW!" he yelled. He grabbed his foot with his hands and hopped up and down.

"I'm hungry, new mom. Let's go eat."

"Um, Bri, I don't know how to tell you this, but I can't be your mother. I haven't the proper, err, bits and such and-"

**_"I'm hungry. Let's go eat."_**

Allen was suddenly compelled to drop everything and just go to the cafeteria with Brian. So he did…yeah…ANYWAY!

By the time they reached the cafeteria, Allen had forgotten the whole thing. Yes, he made himself forget that he is the new mother of a ten year old girl that previously followed Cross around like as if he shited gold bricks. A lot can happen when you wander around lost for a whole 30 minutes.

"Are we there yet?" Brian asked as they turned a corner.

"Yes! It's right there." He said. "You get food from over thr-? Bri?" Allen didn't see her. "Um…Bri?" he called turning in a circle and searching for the recognizable red hair. _'Maybe she left the cafeteria.'_ He thought as he walked back through the doorway.

* * *

Little did dear Allen know that Brian saw a certain someone that she just loved to annoy. A certain samurai was sitting in a semi dark corner of the eating room, enjoying one of the few joys that he got when he was at HQ. Yes, he was happily-as much as he could since he IS Kanda Yuu- eating his soba noodles without a current care in the world. Brian smiled, a truly horrifying thing indeed, as she made her way over to Kanda. He however was in another world completely and didn't notice Brian was anywhere near him until she sat down.

"What the hell do you want Akki-Gaki?" he asked shifting away from her. That smile was unnerving.

"Whatcha eatin'? Huh? What is it, what is it, what is it?" she asked in the most annoying voice she could muster.

Kanda ground his teeth together as he spat out "Soba."

"What' s 'sobs'?" she wrinkled her nose at name.

"Soba, not sobs. Its buckwheat noodles." He explained, so very, very close to-gulp- praying for something to happen to the child next to him. Maybe some form of mutilation. That brought a twisted grin to his face.

Brian eyed him again, rethinking what she was about to do, but shrugged her shoulders. She waited until he gathered noodles on his chopsticks and almost to his mouth before saying "I'm hungry. Can I have some soda?" She pointed to the noodles half way toward his mouth to emphasize her point.

"No, it's mine and it's called soba." Kanda informed.

"Oh." She waited to take another almost bite before saying "But it looks so good. And sharing is caring."

"N-O, NO!" he almost shouted. A few people turned to look at them, but Kanda shot them a glare, making them turn back to their own meals. He took an angry bite and said "Do not. Ask. Again." Very slowly to Brian, as if she was slow in the head.

She watched him take a few more bites before saying "if you don't share, something's gonna happen to you."

"See if I care, gaki." He said before stabbing his soba with the chopsticks.

"Fine." She said. She looked around for a few seconds before her eyes went wide and she paled. A small gasp caught Kanda's attention and started to look around the room, forgetting about his half eaten noodles for the moment. He frowned when he didn't see anything and turned back to his soba. He saw Brian just sitting there and staring at him. It was actually starting to disturb him. But then he inwardly scoffed. _'Kanda Yuu does NOT think a chibi is disturbing …why am I thinking in third person?' _he sighed silently as he picked up his chopsticks to resume eating. He almost didn't notice the phlegm-y green substance- that was an obnoxious shade of mucus green- in his food, but he caught it at the last second. His eyes widened a fraction on an inch as he stared at it. He held it up for closer examination and he realized what it was alarmingly fast.

"Y-you hacked a fucking **LUGIE** in my **SOBA**!!!" He roared as he quickly stood up.

"I don't know what you're talking about, hana-shounen. All I know is that you are a stingy oaf." She brought her hand closer to her face to examine her nails, not looking at the angry man looming over her.

"You are defiantly going to get it now." Kanda said placing a hand on Mugen's hilt.

Her voice held a bored tone when she said "I'm waiting."

As Kanda was about to unsheathe his beloved Mugen, Brian said "On second thought, **_Kanda, you should throw your plate at Twitchy over there."_**

Kanda didn't know what was wrong with him, but he placed Mugen back in its sheath and his hand slowly reached for his forgotten plate.

_'What the hell?'_ he thought as he lifted it. _'What am I doing?!'_ went through his mind as the plate soared threw air. The food and plate hit Miranda right on the chest, knocking her back. What happened next could only be called a disaster.

Miranda, being who she is, flew backward onto the floor. The plate she was carrying flew behind her and hit someone else in the back of the head. Someone started to laugh at both of them. Now, Miranda would sit there and let people laugh at her, but not the random person that was hit with her food. He zeroed in on the person laughing at him and grabbed a handful of mashed potatoes-with extra gravy- and lobbed it. He missed but the person whom he hit retaliated in the same fashion as he did. This of course started a gargantuan food fight. Someone even had the nerve to set up a point system-a thousand points if you hit a popular exorcist, such as Kanda Lavi or Miranda.

Lavi, the person who started laughing and thus starting the whole food fight of epic proportions, was hiding under a table, were he was basically invisible. He was observing-and giggling like a whole gaggle of school girls- when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. He froze and turned to see… Kanda.

"Yuu? What are you doing here? This is my hiding spot!"

"Che." He looked around. "Urasai, baka Usagi." He muttered. "Do you want to get caught?"

Lavi gasped. "Is that great Kanda Yuu hiding?! Is the World Ending?!?!" Lavi threw an arm across his forehead, proclaiming "The World, she is ending!"

**"URASAI!"** he shouted. "Before-

"There you are. And Usa-baka is with you. Perfect!"

They both turned around only to get faces of something in their faces. Lavi quickly whipped the- apple pie? Was Link here some where?- out of his eyes to see a completely clean Brian turn and run away, shouting "They're under the table by the door!"

_'Oh, d-d-dear.'_

Lavi gulped and was about to run, when the table was overturned and both he and Kanda were pelted with all manners of food.

* * *

Allen was worried. He looked all over for Brian, but he couldn't seem to find her anywhere. Not near the Labs, or the library, or the rooms._ 'She isn't anywhere!_' he thought as he continued to wander around HQ. Somehow by either the will of his stomach or something on a more subconscious level, he wound up in front of the cafeteria again. But now the doors were closed. _'Hmm…that's odd. The doors were open earlier.'_

He made his way closer to the large doors and was about to open them, when they opened from the inside. There was too much movement for him to see clearly, but he defiantly heard "It's Allen-san." And "Get 'im!"

"What the devil-?" he said before something hit him in the face. Some other things were thrown at him before he fell back on the floor.

"And he's down for the count ladies and gentlemen!" a voice that distinctly sounded like Brian's voice came from somewhere above his fallen form.

"What is going on here?!"

Everyone stopped and looked up at Klaud Nyne who was standing a little ways away from the scene of Allen covered in food. Standing beside her was Cross and Tiedoll. The three generals stared wide-eyed as everyone tried to become some what presentable.

"What happened here? Who started this mess?" she asked quickly. No one made a move to answer her. **"Well?!"**

"He started it!" Brian cried. She was the only one not covered head to toe in food. In truth she only had a smudge of chocolate cake on her cheek that she couldn't reach with tongue. She was pointing to at the man who was hit instead of Lavi.

"I did no such thing. He threw food at me first!" he argued.

"Only because HE" Here Lavi was pointed at. "Laughed at me."

"I wouldn't have if Miranda-chan's food didn't hit you." Lavi defended.

"B-b-but that wasn't my fault!" Miranda cried. Quite literally, I might add. You could see the tear tracks in the food left on her face. "Kanda-san threw his food at me first!"

All the heads swiveled around to look at Kanda who was a terrible mess. His hair was free of its usual ponytail and was matted with different kinds of sweets, and sweat was mixed with several other forms of eating material on his person. Kanda gave her a dark glare as opposed to a bright one and said "Don't you **dare** pin this on me. I wouldn't even spare most of you a glance if it wasn't for that little **devil** over there. She did something and made me do it."

Now everyone looked at Brian again. She looked right back at them. "What? That's so aggravating! I didn't do a thing. He wouldn't share his food, and my darling new mother wasn't around. I couldn't get anything to eat." She stuck her lower lip out and sniffed pitifully. "I was just hungry." Then tears started to roll down her cheeks. Big fat ones that would make you dehydrated after you finished crying.

"Your 'new mother'? Who is that, poor child?" Tiedoll asked her, speaking for the first time since meeting with Cross and Klaud.

"Him!" she said pointing at Allen. "He," she pointed at Cross "Said he would be my mother and he would take care of me. And then he last me!"

"I di-." A hand came down on Allen's head. He looked up at his Shishou. "No, wait I-!"

"Follow me." Was all that Cross said before dragging him away. Brian saw they were leaving without her, so she ran after them tears still going down her face. There was silence until-

"I'm very disappointed with you, Yuu-kun." Tiedoll said before walking off with shoulders slumped.

* * *

**Aki:** And thats it! it took me all day, But this is so worth it! Leave reveiws if you liked it. Or if you didn't like it. tell me how to improve my writing if you want. I just need attetion. XD

And I'm supriz, only 2 or 3 ppl. said anything about Brian. do you guys not like her or something? TELL ME!!! I NEED ATTENTION!!!!


	6. PE

**Aki:** I'm back babes!!! didja miss me?

**Kanda&Ita&Sasu:** Who the hell would miss you?

**Aki:** How i live to torture Brunettes with dark eyes! it's wonderful! the things i could make them do to each other***looks at Uchihas*** or to certain white haired Moyashis***Looks at Kanda*.** What bliss!

***Aki gets 3 potent and patented death glares but stays strong for her wonderful readers that REVEIW***

* * *

Chapter 6:

That night, Allen had to crawl his way back to his room, followed closely by Brian after what Cross did to him. …Wait forget I said it that way.

What actually happened was Allen got a… talking to from Cross in a totally non-sexual way, since Cross doesn't even like looking at Allen or touching him or anything of the sort. And Brian was an audience for the whole thing. In fact, after she was with only Cross and Allen, she stopped crying all together and waited patiently for Cross to finish with Allen.

"W-why would you do that?" Allen asked after they made it to his room.

"Do what?" She asked. Her head was tilted to the side to show her confusion.

"Lie and get me in trouble like that!" Allen nearly shouted.

"Oh." She nodded in understanding. "Because."

"Because what?" He spoke through his grinding teeth.

"Just because." She replied. She looked around his small room and asked "Were do I sleep?"

_'In the hall. Or better yet, out in the snow.'_ Allen thought darkly. But then he scowled at himself. _'I can't think that about a child. Even if she is a little bit of trouble.'_

"Hold on, I'll get you a cot to sleep on for now. I'll be right back." He said walking back out of the room. But by the time he got back _**(roughly 3 hours)**_ Brian was already asleep in his bed. **_'Of course she fell asleep. Right. I can't seem to make myself care at the moment. Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. Yes, that's it. Not enough sleep.'_** He thought as he set up the cot for himself.

The next morning Allen had bags under his eyes and a stiff neck. Brian in comparison looked well rested and like a million bucks in a warm looking wine colored wrap around dress that fell to her ankles and flat black leather shoes. Her hair was up in a chaotic ponytail while Allen's hung limply on his head. They walked into the makeshift classroom only to see a note on the whiteboard.

"What is it?" she asked Allen as he walked over to it.

"It says that we're supposed to be outside for…physical education?" he replied after a moment. "It also says that we were supposed to be there at 8:00. What time it now?"

"9:10. Give or take." Brian told him.

"Really?"

"I don't know. I'm not a watch." She replied.

"Right. Of course your not." He said. '_**You're a devil in child's clothing, that's what you are.'**_ He thought. "Shall we?"

"Uh-huh. We need coats."

"Don't worry, we can get some by the front entrance." He said walking out of the room. Brian followed behind him and thankfully stayed quiet.

* * *

It was a lovely day outside…

If by lovely, you mean below zero weather with a nine inch layer of snow on the ground.

Komui, Kanda, Lavi and Krory were standing in afore mentioned snow in several layers of clothes. They were facing Cross who was also bundled up snuggly along with Miranda on his right and Lenalee on his left. Tiedoll was standing by the entrance of HQ, keeping watch over his dear son***cough*** Yuu-kun.

"What the hell are we waiting for?" Kanda Barked at Cross, getting fed up with standing there doing nothing.

"Physical Education." Was all he said.

"Can we start now?" Lavi asked. "I'm cold and tired and hungry and-."

"You're gonna be dead if you don't shut your goddamned mouth." Cross muttered loud enough for him to hear.

"Y-yes sir."

"So, what are we waiting for?"

"It's Allen-kun, right General Cross?"

"Yeah." He admitted going in his pocket. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it before taking a drag. "Wouldn't want that idiot to miss the fun."

"What fun? You drag us all out here and make us stand here for God knows how long-!"

"It's been 15 minutes, brother."

"Of course it has been, Lenalee dear." Komui gushed cutting off his rant. "You know, you can come over her and stand with me if you like."

"Um, well…"

"Are we late?"

They all zeroed in on the two smaller than average forms making there way over to them. Cross discreetly pulled out his ever fateful hammer and lobbed it at Allen's head. It hit him right in the center and knocked him back into the snow.

"Does that answer your question?" Cross said. Brian looked down at Allen then back up at Cross and back down at Allen before she said something. Allen popped up quickly and jogged the rest of the way over to everyone.

Brian took her sweet time and strolled over slowly enough for Cross to yell at her.

"Either get your ass over here, or go find a cliff to throw yourself off of." He said before turning back to the losers- err, I mean students in front of him. She pouted but obeyed and quickened her pace.

"Now, you all are going to run."

"What?!" both Komui and Lavi shouted. "Why?" Lavi whined again.

"Because I said so." He replied. "Now everyone with dicks, start running." When no one moved, he sighed before pulling out Judgment and started shooting at there feet. You can bet that got them moving. Cross started to chuckle. Then he started to shot them more.

"U-umm, Cross-san?" Miranda timidly said. He turned to her. "Don't you t-think that's a little umm…uh…" she trailed off when she saw he was watching her. "N-n-never mind."

"Do it again!" Brain said excitedly. "Make 'em go faster! Oh, but not new Mom. Make Candy go faster!"

"Candy?" Lenalee asked as Cross looked on.

"The one with the katana." She said. Kanda stopped long enough to yell "That's not my name!" before Cross started shooting again.

"Yatta!" Brian shouted. "Now the nerd guy!"

**"NOT THE NERD GUY!"** Komui yelled. **"LENALEE!!!"**

"Maybe you should stop the shooting for now Cross-san." Lenalee said worried for her elder brother.

"No, _**Komui should keep running**__._" Brian said "like 'till he falls or something. That would be fun!"

Suddenly, Komui's back straitened before he started running faster and with out complaint. Everyone stopped to look at him as he ran fluidly in perfect form. But Cross' eyes were on the young girl next to him.

"B-brother? Are you okay?" Lenalee called.

"I can't stop!" he said urgently as he passed Cross. Brain giggled as she saw him closing in on her. She opened her mouth and muttered "_**Fall, Komui**_." Seconds before his face hit the snow on the ground.

"Brother!" Lenalee cried as she ran over to him. With the exception of Kanda, Cross and Brian, everyone crowded around the fallen head of their branch.

"You," Cross said pointing to a still grinning Brian. "Over here. And you too," This one directed to Komui sitting on the cold ground. Komui made his way over to Cross and Brian and they started to talk quietly. Brian's face fell as Komui's eyes widened. He was about to say something to her when she beat him to it.

"NO!" She shouted making Komui jump at the sudden volume of her voice. She stepped back until she was pressed against Cross's side, stepping away from Komui in the process.

"What's going on?" Lavi asked lowly.

"Not a clue." Allen replied.

"Che. Like I care."

"Fuck this, Nerd." Cross suddenly said. He grabbed Brain's upper arm and started to lead her to the doors, Komui not far behind.

"Get offa me, you dirty old man! I don't want your pervy germs all over me! Leggo of me, asshole!" Brain screamed and fought him, squirming and trying to lash out at the man holding onto her.

"Shut that trap of yours, Brat." Was all he said to her.

"You don't have to do that to her Cross. You could-."

"I don't want to hear it." He turned to the people watching but not knowing what was going on. "Did I tell you all to stop running?" he pointed Judgment at them and they all started running in a loop.

"I need an adult! Help!" she turned to Komui. "This is kidnapping. What are you gonna do about it?"

"Brian, its not-."

"Shut up." Cross said. Brian dug her heels into the snow and made herself become dead weight. Cross huffed before he picked her up like it was nothing before settling her under his arm. "You are in charge, Hippie." He said to Tiedoll before walking past him. Komui said "You have a whole hour to do what you will with them." And sending him a smile before following the shouts and cries of Brian.

"No Cross, it's the to the right, not left." He called after them.

Tiedoll smiled. "Who's up for an art lesson, children?" he called out to the still running exorcists.

* * *

"So does anyone know what was up?" Lavi asked later. He as well as Miranda, Lenalee, Allen, Kanda and Krory were gathered in Komui's messy office.

"Is it a mission?" Miranda asked.

"I don't think so. He would've told us if it was a mission' don't you think?" Lenalee asked.

"I don't give a danm why he called us. I just want him to hurry the fuck up so I can go back to my room were stupid Frenchies won't bother me." Kanda said looking pointedly at Tiedoll who stood in a corner a ways away from the younger people in the room.

"Do you think it has to do with Cross-san?" Krory said, speaking for the first time since that morning.

"I plum forgot you could talk, Krorykins." Lavi said grinning over at him making him blush as everyone looked over at him.

"What do you mean?" Allen asked getting back to the point.

"Um, well, you know…" He was flustered now and they could tell, so they turned away from him.

"Maybe it has to do with Brian." Lavi supplied helpfully. "I mean, she's been gone all day. Unless you've seen her Allen?" He asked.

Allen shook his head. "I haven't seen her since Shishou took her away this morning."

"Is Komui here?" Came Bookman's raspy voice from the doorway. "We were told to come straight here by the science department."

He came in followed by Chouji. Ever since he had become an accommodator he had worked his hardest on the simplest on missions, from retrieving Innocence to fighting off Akuma.

"Your back, Panda-JiJi!" Lavi said jumping up. Only to be forced back down by a force on his head in the shape of Bookman's foot.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Panda?!" He said sternly.

"You didn't have to hit me." Lavi cried sniffing pitifully.

"What's the matter? Why is everyone in here?" Chouji asked as he took a seat near Miranda on the floor.

"We're not sure on both accounts yet, Chouji. We're waiting for Komui to tell us what we're doing here." Allen explained. Chouji nodded his head in understanding as Lavi's voice became back round noise. A moment later, Komui's door opened admitting him, Cross, Brian. She went for the biggest chair in the room that also happened to be Komui's chair and plopped herself in it.

"Bri-chan, that's my chair." He told her.

She turned red rimmed eyes on him and asked "I care because…?" before looking at the papers scattered on and around his desk. He sighed before scratching his head and sighing again. Then his face brightened as if struck by an idea.

"First I'd like to say welcome back Chouji, Bookman." He said with a small smile. It shrunk a little as he sighed once more.

"C'mon, Komui. The suspense is killing me!" Lavi said suddenly. With Kanda being the exception **(when is he ever not an exception?)** everyone agreed with Lavi.

"Well, we have discovered a new accommodator." He said at last.

"Are we going to get them?" Miranda asked.

"No, that won't be necessary. She's already here." He said glancing over at Brian. They looked at her were she was now ripping pieces of paper into confetti. She was doing her best to ignore the looks directed at her and it was working until Kanda surprisingly said "That thing?!"

"Komui, you're joking, right?" Lavi and Lenalee asked looking between him and the small child.

Before he could reply, he heard "Lavi and Lenalee should keep their big mouths shut until he finishes speaking." She looked thoughtful for a second before she added "And Kanda should jump out of a window."

"No, wait!" Komui said as Kanda stood ramrod straight. "Stop him someone!"

Chouji grabbed his ankle making him tumble to the floor at the same time a muffled shout came from Lavi's mouth. He was trying-with abysmal results- to open his mouth. Lenalee tried to council him and went to say something, but found she couldn't get her mouth open either.

_'My muscles are locked!'_ she thought frantically.

"Lavi, Lenalee clam down!" Komui told them. "And don't let him go Chouji."

"Yes sir." He replied before almost getting kicked in the head.

"The both of you will be able to talk after… what was it you said?" he asked Brian.

"You finish speaking." She said not looking at him.

"Of course." He rubbed at his temples, feeling a headache coming on. "It seems Brian has the ability to make people do what she says. Or something like that. We're not a hundred percent sure just yet. But she'll need the help of all of you to become… accustomed to the way things are here. More importantly someone who knows how to deal with her already and won't try to attack her all the time. Or provoke her into using her powers. And who won't be corrupted by her…" He trailed off.

"You just described Kanda, Lavi Lenalee and Miranda." Bookman pointed out.

"If they aren't going to do it then…" Allen trailed off as Komui stared right at him.

_'Oh no. I've got a baaaad feeling.'_

"Allen, since you are already her 'new mother', you wouldn't mind, would you?" Komui asked. But Allen could see in his eyes that he was practically begging him to take her off his hands.

_'Oh damn it all.'_ Allen said as he solemnly nodded.

"Perfect!" He said with a thousand watt smile. Allen looked beyond him ant Brian and saw the demonic smile settle on her lips.

_'Oh God in heaven…'_ he thought as he heard her chuckle softly.

* * *

**Aki: this is my longest Chapter yet! DID anyone guess Bri was gonna be an accommodator? Didja like it? love it? hate it? Tell me in a reveiw if you please :3. I live for attention!**


	7. Study Hall pt 1

Study Hall part 1:

Note: This takes place the day after it was discovered that Bri is an accomedator!

* * *

"Hey, why do you think Brian follows Cross around?" Lavi asked as he watched said people walk away from the cafeteria. He was sitting with Allen, Miranda, Lenalee and Krory, enjoying breakfast when they saw the red-headed General and the young girl walk in, get a cart filled with food**(Brian)**, and walk back out.

"No one cares, baka usagi." Kanda commented before placing his soba noodles in his mouth. _'Especially after what that brat did to me._'

"And why the hell are you all sitting at my table?!"

"Calm down Yuu. This was the only free place for all of us." Lavi explained.

"That's bullshit and you know it." He muttered before trying to ignore his 'friends'.

"Maybe it's because she's his newest pupil." Lenalee pointed out.

"Yes, but he can't stand to be around her." Allen pointed out. "When I was with him, he was always complaining about when I got lost and such. I doubt he would do that with her."

Krory nodded. "I saw him actually **try** to lose her the other day."

"Could it be that she's a debt collector's kid? They could've sent her after him, like a tick or leech." Lavi said.

"If that were the case, he could've just shot her and left her in a ditch somewhere." Allen said munching on some rice pilaf. There was a moment of silece at the table after that annocement.

"W-why can't she just be his daughter?" Miranda said after a moment. In truth, she had thought this from the moment she saw both child and General stand next to each other. They had the same type of hair, the exception being that Brian's is a tad bit wilder, and the same attitude toward people, that being that most of the human race was beneath them. It just made sense that they could be related. Obviously, her friends didn't think so. They stared at her in silence before Lavi, Allen and Lenalee started laughing. Kanda started choking, and Krory had to slap him on the back to get him to stop.

"T-that was funny Miranda-chan." Lenalee said whipping a tear from him eye.

"Shishou could never willingly keep a child, nor claim it." Allen said, holding his stomach.

"General Cross is a womanizer, so he probably has children all over the world. Why would he claim just one?" Lavi asked.

Miranda frowned. "Well if she's not his daughter, then why else would she follow him around?"

"Miranda is right." Krory said standing up for her.

"She is?" Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee asked.

"I am?"

"What else could she get out of him, besides him claiming her so she won't be a bastard?" he asked.

It was silent for a moment, then "If you want to know, what the hell is stopping you from asking her about it?" from Kanda.

"That's it!" Lavi said standing.

"…?" was the collective statement of the table.

"It's a mystery, so we," he gestured with his hand to the people around the table "Are going to solve it!"

"Hell to the no." Kanda said before standing with his empty plate. "Do whatever the hell you all damn well please, but don't include me in your idiotic plans."

"Aww, and I was going to let you be Fred." Lavi whined.

"What?"

"It's this thing that I found out about last time I went on a mission in America. It's this cartoon-."

"Stop." Kanda said. "I don't want to do it." He then proceeded to walk out of the cafeteria.

"What a buzz kill." He turned to the rest of them. "But we can still play!"

* * *

"Lavi…" Allen started.

"Yes?" he answered.

"Why on earth am I wearing these ridiculous brown…things?" he asked, more than a little peeved. After Lavi had convinced them all to 'play', as he called it, he told him to follow him to his room. He handed out pieces of clothing to each of them.

Allen got a headband that had two pieces of floppy fabric in a shade of shitty-brown with a matching sweater that was lumpy and uncomfortable on his youngish body.

Miranda got a large pair of glasses frames, and an orange sweater that fell to her waist that looked far more comfortable than Allen's.

Krory got a lime green pull over shirt and Lenalee got a purple pullover dress that she put on over her exorcist outfit. Lavi came out in a white turtle neck with a small orange scarf around his neck, saying "Let's go gang!"

"Because you're Scooby-Doo, the namesake of the cartoon."

"And I'm supposed to be **what** exactly?"

"A dog silly." He said with a smile. "I'm Fred, Krorykins is Shaggy, Miranda-chan is Velma, Lenalee-chan is Daphne and you are the talking dog, Scooby. Ya dig?"

"No I don't 'dig' as you put it." Allen reached up to snatch off the wretched 'ears', but stopped when he heard "This might be fun, if we don't get caught." From Lenalee. That was followed with a "Yes, and we can finally figure out why Brian follows Cross." From Miranda. Allen sighed and put his hand down.

"Alright everyone, first thing's first. We have to look for clues." Lavi announced. "Which way is her room?"

All eyes turned to Allen. He sighed and said "Next to mine."

"Away we go!" Lavi said rushing to get there first.

* * *

"Lavi," Lenalee spoke "What exactly are we looking for?"

"Clues, m'dear." He replied. "The kind that will help us decipher Brian-chan's mysterious past."

"Would a picture be a clue?" Krory asked.

"What kind of picture?" Lavi asked.

"Of a woman?"

"A CULE!" he said excitedly. Everyone gathered around Krory to look at the photo. It was a picture of a woman sitting in a chair in front of a set of French windows. She was dressed in what appeared to be a day dress that was pale pink. It made her pale cheeks seem brighter somehow. Her hair was light blonde and straight as an arrow **(like how Kanda and Allen claim to be X3)** hanging from her head to her bosom. On her lap sat a small child in a purple dress and black Mary-lane shoes. Her hair curled in on itself at the ends and was a shocking red color. While the woman was smiling brightly at the camera, the girl just sat there and pouted.

"It's Brian-chan!"

"That must be her mother." Lenalee said.

"Is there anything else around here?" Allen asked looking around for her trunk.

"NO!" Lavi screamed startling them all. "Now we've got to follow her around from the shadows."

"For what?" Miranda asked as confused as the rest of them.

"That's what they do in the show."

'Why did we decide to do this?' was the thought that went the heads of Allen, Lenalee, Miranda and Krory as they followed Lavi into the hallway.

* * *

Aki: OMG I'm starting to think that people don't like this fic anymore. T3T Send me Reviews to prove me wrong!!!

On another note, I'm surprized I haven't gotten flamed for this story because of what I'm doing to the characters. Maybe I'm just lucky X)


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